How the Best Man Series Invites us to Embrace the Journey of Womanhood
/
How the Best Man Series invites us to Embrace the Journey of Womanhood
Maclom D Lee did exactly what he probably intended to do and that was to get the people talking and deeply invested in Harper, Lance, Murch, Quentin, Robyn, Mia, Jordan. He made it so easy to get lost and intrigued by this 20 year old storyline.
The original Best Man gave us insight into adulthood.. Marriage, friendship, relationships, career and LIFE! Of course it’s obvious by the name ,the focus is brotherhood and that is beautiful and complex in its own right and nothing I have the authority to speak about being I am not a brother!
Life, the messy , beautiful chaos and all that THAT entitles , these characters brought it to our attention and what I love most and what I think we all did in some capacity, is that it is relatable. I don;t know about you but I also just love seeing my people on screen looking healthy and rich!
We have been so deeply invested in these characters that we can’t fathom some of their true colors. For me, I really need to know about this mix and mingling of partners over the years. Mia and Harper first, then Mia eventually marries Lance.. Murch and Shleby were together for 7 years ! However, she and Quentin are married. But I digress lol One insight I walked away with in my pocket from the Best Man Final Chapter is , can we thank God for grace because we are NOT where we were when we were in our 20s lol
In addition to grace . There was a lot of talk about Robyn and how she was the villain” and me being me, I started to reflect on the entire women cast and journey of the Best Man series. In particular the life of a late 20 / 30 year old woman navigating relationships, friendships and everything in between.. Even though I am no longer in my 20s lol I could see something similar to myself, and other women I’ve come into contact with in each one of those characters in some capacity.
First up is Jordan…
Jordan started off as a career driven, focused, God mom, independent boss . We were introduced to this powerhouse and watched her navigate her love life and her infatuation with Harper. Fast forward to the Final Chapter, Jordan has all the accolades a media boss could desire, She has now realized how fast life has been moving and focused on climbing the corporate ladder she has overlooked something super important .. herself. Jordan has now realized she needs to do better because of some health challenges and she also wants to have a family of her own . Jordan’s life has been about checking the boxes and climbing until she can;t no more!
What I love most about Jordan is she never once apologizes for it. There is beauty in being your most authentic self unapologetically. The evolution of Jordan has shown us how important love, career and self are all.
Second up is Candice…
Candice Formerly known as CANDY ! ( although I’m convinced she still got it! ) is how we were introduced to her and can we talk about metamorphosis! When I think of the OG Candy I think of the players club when Ebony said “I’m just here to dance and DATS it” . In the original Best man that's what she came to do DANCE and make you feel like she was in love with you. Although that's how we met her we got a glimpse to see Candice was focused on her education and was a lover of literature. Candy did her job and did it well and married Murch and had his beautiful babies. In this season she has completed her undergraduate education and she is now married and starting a new chapter as a wife, mom and doctoral student. YESS!! ….However, in this moment of finding her groove, the connection between her husband and herself has got a little lukewarm due to them both trying to protect each other and the sacredness of being “Black in America” .
She holds so much in and focuses so hard on asserting herself in her doctorate program that she has neglected her spouse's emotional needs. In the midst of this neglecting she also experiences being violated by someone she truly trusted as a mentor. All this hard work now has to come to a stop, she must pivot and delay her dream a little longer . What I love most about their dynamic is the individuality and collectivism all in one. The evolution of Candy has taught us that your journey doesn't have to look like everyone else, you can have the desires of your heart and be AMAZING at it no matter how long it takes!
Our girl Robyn is next,
Robyn *disclaimer I’ve never been married nor have kids * .. The original best man opens with Robyn smitten over Harper in the bathtub from his most recent work travel .. she says that she could spend forever with him.. And there's a dead silence from Harper as if he's hesitant to confirm forever.. She takes him to the airport and says “ I know you love me” and she's not insecure .. She has been shown Harper is not emotionally there at the very beginning of their relationship yet she “keeps hope alive” Harper even proposed to her at Lance’s wedding (red flag) . The clues were there. I don’t doubt Harper loves Robyn or he loves how she makes him feel ( that’s another topic for later) Robyn in the Final Chapter had reached her threshold . She has internally or out loud been screaming at the top of her lungs ``choose me” and the shouting has fallen on deaf ears (Harper’s) So she did what she “felt was best even when it could possibly be a hot mess.. She didn’t know, she just knew she was tired.
Robyn most certainly can come off as the villian .. She got tunnel vision and appeared selfish. Her decision boiled down to putting herself first as the only option because she hasn't felt she has been put first in her relationship. It gets tricky because there is a child involved. What is obvious in Harper and Robyn’s relationship is the complexity of effort in a partnership.. Somedays, some years, some months it's 80/20 love 40/ 70 love if you’re TEDDY Pendagrass you want that 50/50 love but how long is too long to play that limbo game ? The answer is as long as you want to.. and Robyn said time was up . Love wasn’t enough. In fact, Robyn let Harper know in the original Best man “ I may not bet perfect but, I am strong.”What if she chose to stay in NY and having to be in the same state as her ex husband who is OVERLY smitten (never ending) with one of his best friends . That hurt everyday I can’t imagine.. ( but him proposing at his best friends wedding was the sign to run sis)))!! Lol . The evolution of Robyn has taught us quite a bit but, my favorite is can’t nobody tell you how to live , only you can do that.
Next up is Shelby
Shelby. We were introduced to Shelby as the most annoying girlfriend of Murch in The Original Best Man. She wanted what she wanted and she picked the right one. Easy going , push over Murch. NO ONE liked Shelby, they tolerated her because of Murch. Shelby has always been this firecracker who knows what she likes. We never got to see the full humanity of Shelby in the past series because she wasn’t written that way which makes her storyline that more interesting. In the final chapter we got to see more of the human side of Shelby. Her fighting to not show her vulnerability had caused her to lie for She is vulnerable , a good friend, wife, a mom figuring things out, reality star and a good secret keeper for many many years she kept this secret about her child's father / uncle relationship with Quentin . She is so focused on self that the true substance of her got lost. SHelby was running away from the aging clock that was holding her captive to the past. she knows how to get to the bag and who to get it from. We go to see Shelby love deep and loud. I love her and Quentin’s interesting dynamic. They are authentically chaotic and love each other deeply. The evolution of Shelby has taught us to be true to who you are , embrace the changes and strive to be your most authentic self everyday even if everyone else doesn’t agree.
Lastly is Mia,
Mia- In the original Best Man Mia was the soft spoken , apparent virgin that was swept away by this football player. Unlike Shelby, everyone LOVED Mia. Mia stayed 10 toes down while Lance ran through a few , She loved being portrayed as the “good girl “ she held that title down all the way to the end. I would’ve loved to see more of Mia and her authentic self loose at a girls night or something!
You ever wonder why she wasn’t given as much heat as Harper ?! Why didn't she get questioned , Harper almost got thrown over the balcony at Lance’s bachelor party for this and here is Mia not being held accountable at all LOL but we’ve admired or at least have been wrapped in being portrayed as the “good girl” so RIP Mia sis took it to the grave. Mia has taught us to take the secret to the grave and that’s all I have on her! LOL NO NO , she has also shown us unconditional love because she loved Lance through it all!
In each of these women, we see ourselves , a cousin, a friend ,aunt, at various stages of growth and we can extend a huge round of applause to Malcolm for making it relatable.These women showed us the best of themselves , the ugly and the not so good.
All of this with the overcasting of building friendship , maintaining marriages, motherhood, womanhood , relationships ( dem men) careers and LIFE.
We are some flawed human beings but isn’t that the beauty? I am grateful for spaces in my own life that I can show up as my hot mess loving self through my friendships. I loved how they were able to do it through film.
Malcolm and crew did a great job of not pretending to fit everything into this neat box. I can see myself in each of these ladies at different phases of my own life.
Jordan because baby we need them coins and we are going to work hard and get them . But wait , I also need to take care of myself. I see myself in Robyn, keeping hope alive while screaming to her partner“choose me” and ultimately being selfish and packing up everything (kid not included ) .. Candice ..pivoting her dream after a setback . reinventing herself and picking herself up .. Shelby.. confident,,secretive , loves OUT LOUD, flashy and a genuine good friend.
Life is messy but it is also beautiful and no one can write your story or tell yours better than you.. Embrace the mess , take care of yourself ,embrace the love , pivot when you need to and show off every chance you can get.
